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January 16, 2004
Why Not to Have Kids: Reason # 12,742
Michael sat next to me on the flight home from Las Vegas, Nevada, where I spent the holidays with my family. He's an angel, can't you tell? Michael was en route from Las Vegas, where his father lives, to Ontario, where his mother was picking him up. He started the conversation with "I farted." Don't you love the refreshing honesty of children? Charming now, but what about 21 years later?
Michael entertained me for the entire one hour flight. He asked impertinent questions, bit his pretzels into alphabet shapes ("A is for Apple, duh!") and kicked the seat back in front of him so hard that the woman in front of us started screaming. I thought that was funny. He also asked me to blow bubble gum bubbles and then popped them with his fingers. I thought that was less funny. I considered kidnapping Michael, but only for about a nanosecond. I'm sick that way.
The stewardesses had enough of Michael by the time I got on the plane, you could tell. They kept "shussshing" him. Like that's gonna work. They probably have children, too. It seems like people who have children frequently know very little about children. There's probably a name for that phenomenon.
I think its name might be Michael.
Happy New Year!
Posted by DJ Wanda at January 16, 2004 12:04 AM
Comments
Actually I think the technical term is "selective amnesia."
Posted by: Lauren Isaacson at January 17, 2004 02:21 PM